It May Be Time To Abandon Your Goals
4 Signs That Can Mean A Goal Is Not For You Anymore
I’m currently recovering from burnout and as I come out of three months of deep rest, I’m reflecting on what led to the exhaustion in the first place and how to avoid it moving forward. One clear source is all the goals that I had set for myself to achieve.
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary describes a goal as the end toward which effort is directed. This means two things when we’re setting goals; that we are trying to get from point A to point B, and that to get there we need to put in a certain amount of effort. But how much effort is too much effort? Here are some of the warning signs I’m going to look out for that will probably save me from getting so overwhelmed again.
When it’s costing you your physical health
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but, we are not limitless in the literal sense of the word. Our physical bodies have limits. Our bodies need regular rest, nutrition and exercise for us to function properly. If you find yourself working so much over a long period of time that you don’t get proper rest, you’re not eating well or exercising right; your physical health will deteriorate and your body will give in. After that happens you can’t work anyway and whatever you were aiming to achieve will become irrelevant. Why is this goal so important that you’re willing to sacrifice your life for it? Are there other ways to achieve it that don’t involve compromising on your health? If any of this is resonating with you, it may be time to take a step back and assess whether what you want is worth your health.
When you’ve outgrown the person you were at the time of setting the goal
We are constantly growing and evolving. As we grow, our perspective on life changes. We start to want and like different things than we did before. Some of the goals we want to achieve are more long term and in the process of working towards them, we may grow into someone that doesn’t want them anymore. But letting go of the person we were can be difficult. So we continue to strive for the goal in honor of who we were, perhaps even in fear or uncertainty of who we’re becoming. This can make the goal more of a burden than something to look forward to. Any efforts towards achieving it become energy draining instead of fulfilling. When this happens, please note that you are allowed to let go of any goal that no longer resonates with the person you are. Honoring yourself is more important than honoring a goal that an older version of yourself set. You are no longer that person. You can let go of that person and be who you are right now. You can let go of that goal and make new goals that honor who you are in this moment.
When you realize that the motivations for the goal are purely extrinsic
In this wonderful age of digital media, we’re constantly presented with information to consume. We’re taught what to look like, what to wear, what to eat, what career to go into, which company to work at, where to live, where to vacation, and the list goes on. Information is power but only when it’s consumed consciously. It’s meant to inform your life, not dictate it. Be mindful that you’re not creating a life based on what everyone else thinks life should look like. It can be so devastating to achieve everything you ever wanted and still not find peace or joy, only to realize that your life consists of other people’s opinions and preferences. Look inside of yourself first before going for something. Make sure that you actually want it.
When it becomes detrimental to your ethics
Nobody is perfect. At one point or another we all mess up. How regularly that happens however, is up to us. And when we’re doing it consciously, that’s a different story altogether. Do you like the person you’re becoming as you work towards your dreams? Do you like how you treat the people in your life on the way to the top? Are you participating in acts that benefit you while proactively harm others? Do you find yourself cutting corners (maybe even breaking the law) all in the name of success? Are you compromising on values you hold dear? Can you look yourself in the mirror and be proud of the person you see staring back? You have to ask yourself if it’s really worth it to lose yourself to gain everything that you want.
The thing about goals is that they are never-ending. Once you achieve something, you gain a new perspective and you’re on to the next goal. Don’t lose yourself in the process. Don’t get so stuck in an achievement loop that everything else in your life falls apart. There are ways to be successful and live a well-balanced life that doesn’t compromise your wholesome health or personal identity.
